No, you didn't blink, I've deleted all of my previous posts.
I had a talk with the man-bestie yesterday. He has a...way with words. Meaning, he doesn't hold back when it comes to brutal honesty. Something he said to me has stuck with me, deep in the deepest part of my psyche. "We (meaning the KFC Meal group of friends, don't ask if you don't already know) don't read your blog, because we don't want to hate you." These people are the group of some of my closest friends. It's harsh, but the point is taken.
I have been mean and judgmental all for the hits on my blog. It's turned me into one of those self-absorbed media twits that I absolutely hate. I've been ugly for the sake of humor and I've been blasting it out to a world who doesn't know who I really am anyway. It's pretty shameful if I really dwell on it. It has also shot me in the foot and cost me someone who could have been amazing for me. Yes, when it comes down to it, the last week wouldn't have happened the way it did if I didn't have this damn thing. I might be kicking myself in the ass for a long time for that one. A long time.
As of today, I'm going to be changing formats. To what, I don't know yet. Since I've noticed that blogging tends to fuel my fire to get things done, I was thinking health and fitness would be good. I have an eval with my personal trainer tonight, so what better day to start that, right? This is also my final week at my current job. Next week, I will be starting a job on the West Side and therefore becoming a total West Sider! My gym will be a half-mile from work and it will give me more time to myself. Maybe I'll clean the house finally! I was also thinking that I'd like to volunteer for Habitat For Humanity or something like that. As for dating, well, I'll keep my online profile going, but I'm not going to write about the guys on here anymore. They are going to be saved for my private journal.
I feel a new chapter coming on, ladies and gents. My homie and I kept saying that 2012 is our year. Well, now it will be. Get ready for a new and improved DixieCJ!!
I'm excited to read your journey, whether it be boyfriends, diets, fights, flings, meals, menstrual cramps, you name it!
ReplyDeleteI never found your past blog posts to be mean or nasty at all. Just honest. There was nothing vindictive about them. I don't think your ex liked reading the truth about himself. Trust me, this blog didn't cause the break-up... it was already broken. However, I understand your dilemma. I also learned the hard way that in order to write about dating, it has to be kept secret from any potential partners. Sometimes that's though.... I tell men now that I'm "writing a book" and that is all. I may even go as far to start another blog so if I accidentally mention a blog, I can just direct them there... Sneaky.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, I think you'll a be great health and fitness writer. You seem really into it so it should be an easy transition. I'll always be a loyal reader.
Thanks for the support, TSS, but I think that is a side of me that I would rather just put in the past. She just isn't worth the heartache. It was fun for a while, but it wasn't emotionally satisfying and didn't do anything positive for me in the long run. Definitely not as emotionally satisfying as my time spent with him. He's not an "ex," either. Regrettably, we never even got that far...
DeleteLesson learned the hard way. I miss him.