In my first attempts to make a happier life for myself, I have disabled my online dating account and have promised myself not to check Facebook more than twice a week and not to do a status update more than twice a month. This isn't going to be easy. The wise thing to do would be disable my Fb account, too, but friends use it to make plans and such, so doing that will not be so convenient.
What will I do with my time instead of social network browsing? ANYTHING I want. I'll likely concentrate on keeping up with my shows and my fitness.
Tomorrow, I'm going back to the gym. After being sick, I've been beyond exhausted after work and have had no energy for it. This will will be different. I am going to concentrate on my eating and exercise. I'm going to talk to the training staff at the gym about using up the 12 personal training sessions I bought and haven't used. I'll buy a pedometer for work to track my steps and I'll keep myself in line with a little help from the ladies in my various unofficial support groups.
Look out, 2013! I'm-a comin'!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Happy Happy Joy Pprrrffft...
I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing things wrong...
My sister often tells me that I'm the most negative person she knows. Friends tease me about being a Negative Nancy. My love life is non-existant. I'm lucky if I get to see my closest friends more than twice a month. I'm overweight and only care because I can't buy the clothes I want. I hate my current wardrobe. I'm just about a hot mess in the financial department. I get some kind of weirdo illness about once a month. And no matter how early I go to bed, getting up at 6am is more than just a little bit of a drag. In fact, the only thing that seems to be really going swimmingly is my new job, because I love it!
You know it's not a good thing when your job is your only reason to get up in the morning. I understand that, yes, the job is a good reason to get up...but when I get home, I just want to be in bed. This is not good. It could be considered a mild form of depression, I suppose.
When faced with the problems listed above, I tend to become annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed, and even angry sometimes. I feel despair in being overwhelmed, like there is no viable solution for me. My mind becomes clouded with negativity and angst and I have trouble shaking it.
After doing some research and talking to some loved ones, I have decided to try a different way of thinking and feeling. I'm going to try sending out only positive energy. Positive energy to the people I love, positive energy to my patients, positive energy to everyone I come in contact with during my daily life, no matter what. The theory is to send love and positive energy into the universe to receive love and positive energy in return. People say it works, so I want to consciously give it a shot.
I began this positive practice yesterday. I woke up and decided to feel good. On my way to work, I noted that I was thankful for having a job that I enjoy. I was thankful for the city I live in. I was thankful for my apartment, cat, and land lady. I was thankful for how cool she is and how well she treats me. I was thankful for my wonderful family and the faces of my niece and nephew. I was thankful to have spent all of Saturday with my best friends. You know what? It worked! The day went completely smoothly!
Today, I learned that keeping up the positivity and the thankful-fors isn't so easy. I woke up in a sub-par mood (that I will attribute to an annoying dream) and was not able to shake it. I didn't want to go to work or even leave my room. I became re-annoyed with some things that have been bothering me and just felt salty. I consciously tried to create positive energy for myself by listing the things that I am thankful for again, but the words turned sour in my mouth and my mind was reverted back to the grump. I spent the morning in a fog at work. I simply could not shake the negative mood. The gray cloud followed me throughout the day, but I was able to let a little bit of sunshine in for my patients. Work ended up being a pleasant distraction for my brain.
Now, I'm home alone with nothing but my cat and my brain to keep me company. It isn't as lousy as this morning, but I'm still feeling pretty blue. I'm going to make my best efforts to start off positive tomorrow. Any happy thoughts you can send my way would likely be helpful and I promise to return them, one way or another.
In related news, when I think of sending love into the universe to receive it back, Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs gets stuck in my head.
My sister often tells me that I'm the most negative person she knows. Friends tease me about being a Negative Nancy. My love life is non-existant. I'm lucky if I get to see my closest friends more than twice a month. I'm overweight and only care because I can't buy the clothes I want. I hate my current wardrobe. I'm just about a hot mess in the financial department. I get some kind of weirdo illness about once a month. And no matter how early I go to bed, getting up at 6am is more than just a little bit of a drag. In fact, the only thing that seems to be really going swimmingly is my new job, because I love it!
You know it's not a good thing when your job is your only reason to get up in the morning. I understand that, yes, the job is a good reason to get up...but when I get home, I just want to be in bed. This is not good. It could be considered a mild form of depression, I suppose.
When faced with the problems listed above, I tend to become annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed, and even angry sometimes. I feel despair in being overwhelmed, like there is no viable solution for me. My mind becomes clouded with negativity and angst and I have trouble shaking it.
After doing some research and talking to some loved ones, I have decided to try a different way of thinking and feeling. I'm going to try sending out only positive energy. Positive energy to the people I love, positive energy to my patients, positive energy to everyone I come in contact with during my daily life, no matter what. The theory is to send love and positive energy into the universe to receive love and positive energy in return. People say it works, so I want to consciously give it a shot.
I began this positive practice yesterday. I woke up and decided to feel good. On my way to work, I noted that I was thankful for having a job that I enjoy. I was thankful for the city I live in. I was thankful for my apartment, cat, and land lady. I was thankful for how cool she is and how well she treats me. I was thankful for my wonderful family and the faces of my niece and nephew. I was thankful to have spent all of Saturday with my best friends. You know what? It worked! The day went completely smoothly!
Today, I learned that keeping up the positivity and the thankful-fors isn't so easy. I woke up in a sub-par mood (that I will attribute to an annoying dream) and was not able to shake it. I didn't want to go to work or even leave my room. I became re-annoyed with some things that have been bothering me and just felt salty. I consciously tried to create positive energy for myself by listing the things that I am thankful for again, but the words turned sour in my mouth and my mind was reverted back to the grump. I spent the morning in a fog at work. I simply could not shake the negative mood. The gray cloud followed me throughout the day, but I was able to let a little bit of sunshine in for my patients. Work ended up being a pleasant distraction for my brain.
Now, I'm home alone with nothing but my cat and my brain to keep me company. It isn't as lousy as this morning, but I'm still feeling pretty blue. I'm going to make my best efforts to start off positive tomorrow. Any happy thoughts you can send my way would likely be helpful and I promise to return them, one way or another.
In related news, when I think of sending love into the universe to receive it back, Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs gets stuck in my head.
Friday, January 4, 2013
A Lesson in Pride
Over about the last week, even before the plague decided to ruin the entire left side of my noggin, I had a strange feeling that something was wrong. I could not figure it out, so I started going through all of the things that I'm involved with and none of them seemed to click. It wasn't about being possibly rejected by the guy I was into. It wasn't about coming down with being ill. I felt like I was disappointing or offending someone and I couldn't think of anyone I had done that to. I was stumped.
Yesterday, I was sent home from work. I couldn't get through a patient's intake without coughing, even though I was determined to learn what I was supposed to. It was truly embarrassing. I had to excuse myself from the room to go to the restroom and hack up a lung. Terrible. Well, the nurse who was supervising me lost patience with that and quickly. She went and got the manager and I was sent home. Naturally, I was upset. I was upset for having to go, I was upset for making Talia angry with me, I was upset for my disservice to the patient, and I was upset that there was literally NOTHING that I could do to stop this from happening.
As it turns out, my intuition over the last week was correct. I know now what it was warning me of. I was gearing up to disappoint myself, annoy my coworker and embarrass myself in front of a patient. The ominous feeling I had is gone now, but the crappy feeling about the way things happened yesterday is lingering. Maybe I'm just so used to being not allowed/able to call off work that I have it ingrained in my mind that I shouldn't unless I can't get out of bed. Am I really working in an environment now that cares about my wellness as well as the patients'?
Today, I have called off work and made an appointment with a doctor to try and get this whatever it is under control. I can't hear out of my left ear from the fluid build up and ringing and I still cannot control my cough, even with OTC medicines. I MUST feel better by Monday, period.
Yesterday, I was sent home from work. I couldn't get through a patient's intake without coughing, even though I was determined to learn what I was supposed to. It was truly embarrassing. I had to excuse myself from the room to go to the restroom and hack up a lung. Terrible. Well, the nurse who was supervising me lost patience with that and quickly. She went and got the manager and I was sent home. Naturally, I was upset. I was upset for having to go, I was upset for making Talia angry with me, I was upset for my disservice to the patient, and I was upset that there was literally NOTHING that I could do to stop this from happening.
As it turns out, my intuition over the last week was correct. I know now what it was warning me of. I was gearing up to disappoint myself, annoy my coworker and embarrass myself in front of a patient. The ominous feeling I had is gone now, but the crappy feeling about the way things happened yesterday is lingering. Maybe I'm just so used to being not allowed/able to call off work that I have it ingrained in my mind that I shouldn't unless I can't get out of bed. Am I really working in an environment now that cares about my wellness as well as the patients'?
Today, I have called off work and made an appointment with a doctor to try and get this whatever it is under control. I can't hear out of my left ear from the fluid build up and ringing and I still cannot control my cough, even with OTC medicines. I MUST feel better by Monday, period.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Take THAT, Turd!!
A few weeks ago, I went to Columbus to visit a good friend and celebrate the coming holidays with a couple of amazing drag shows and a full Saturday of pure laziness. It was an awesome time.
My friend is gay and kept saying how proud of Columbus she is for their support of the LGBT community. From what I've seen and experienced in the town, I have to agree with her. The sense of harmony and community I picked up on there (while I was sober) was inspiring. If I wasn't allowed to live in Cleveland anymore, Columbus would be my destination.
As with almost every happy situation, there has to be someone who wants to be a turd in the punch bowl. This is a story of one such turd and what some people in the punch bowl decided to do about him. You may have already read it, but I felt this story was way too cool to only share on Facebook.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joel-diaz/lgbt-tolerance_b_2397363.html
Bravo, Columbus! People, this kind of comradery needs to happen everywhere and every time some homophobic asshat decides he's going to try and ruin someone's fun by spewing his own insecurities in the form of hatred.
Also, Mikey's Late Night Slice is the BEST freaking pizza I have ever tasted. Thank you.
My friend is gay and kept saying how proud of Columbus she is for their support of the LGBT community. From what I've seen and experienced in the town, I have to agree with her. The sense of harmony and community I picked up on there (while I was sober) was inspiring. If I wasn't allowed to live in Cleveland anymore, Columbus would be my destination.
As with almost every happy situation, there has to be someone who wants to be a turd in the punch bowl. This is a story of one such turd and what some people in the punch bowl decided to do about him. You may have already read it, but I felt this story was way too cool to only share on Facebook.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joel-diaz/lgbt-tolerance_b_2397363.html
Bravo, Columbus! People, this kind of comradery needs to happen everywhere and every time some homophobic asshat decides he's going to try and ruin someone's fun by spewing his own insecurities in the form of hatred.
Also, Mikey's Late Night Slice is the BEST freaking pizza I have ever tasted. Thank you.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
2013 Goals
1. Get this extra weight off. Period. I said two years ago that Christmas of 2010 would be my last fat Christmas. My determination to meet this goal has sucked and the goal itself has not been met TWO Christmases later. Unacceptable. I am a full six pounds lighter than I was then, but that is 44 less than I wanted to burn off. So, 44 lbs. That is goal #1. I can do it. I have already started, actually. I'll weigh in tomorrow at work and cross my fingers that I've lost at least 2 in the past week.
2. Refocus. If you read earlier posts on this re-vamped blog, you'll remember that I was a little lost at the beginning of the year when I deleted my dating blog. Before I deleted it, I felt focused and strong. I felt like I knew what I wanted from life in general. I knew why dating good guys was so difficult for me, thanks to my former therapist. I need to rediscover those things. I don't know if I need to do it with a therapist or if I can try and do it on my own, but it is something I NEED to do. I need to refocus the camera on me.
3. Thirty. It is a mere 9 months and 19 days until I turn 30-years-old. Fuck. I don't feel like I have much to show for my 30 years. Sure, I finally have a job that I like. Sure, I'm on my way to finding a man to date steadily for a while...or not...or whatever. However, I am not satisfied with this. I want more. I NEED more. The problem is, I don't know what the "more" is. I feel this hole in my life that I'm not sure how to fill. Maybe the extra gym time will do the trick? I can only hope. It will be a good start, anyway.
4. Clean out my closet room. I don't know if I'm going to actually make this happen or if it will just be one of those forgotten resolutions. I want to get rid of at least half of my wardrobe. Send it away, because I hate most of it anyway. I sit on a pile of clothes and look at the clothes around me and just sulk. I hate so much of what is there that I really need to get rid of it. This goal definitely coincides with the weight loss goal.
5. Boys. The whole reason I started writing in the first place. I'm contemplating getting rid of my online dating profile while I concentrate on these other goals. I'm tired of finding out the hard way that men I'm interested in just don't care about seeing me. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself because I'm not interesting to the opposite sex. I'm really tired of dealing with that pesky Girl Brain. (If you haven't guessed, the gentleman previously mentioned doesn't seem as interested as I originally thought. Bummer, I like him.) I haven't made a solid decision, but when I think about how good I felt before I started the online dating...sure, I had my lonely days and my family and friends started to crack jokes about my ovaries drying up and my vagina being full of cobwebs, but I was genuinely happy. So there's that...
There you have it, world: My goals for 2013, to be achieved by or before my 30th birthday. Yay me.
2. Refocus. If you read earlier posts on this re-vamped blog, you'll remember that I was a little lost at the beginning of the year when I deleted my dating blog. Before I deleted it, I felt focused and strong. I felt like I knew what I wanted from life in general. I knew why dating good guys was so difficult for me, thanks to my former therapist. I need to rediscover those things. I don't know if I need to do it with a therapist or if I can try and do it on my own, but it is something I NEED to do. I need to refocus the camera on me.
3. Thirty. It is a mere 9 months and 19 days until I turn 30-years-old. Fuck. I don't feel like I have much to show for my 30 years. Sure, I finally have a job that I like. Sure, I'm on my way to finding a man to date steadily for a while...or not...or whatever. However, I am not satisfied with this. I want more. I NEED more. The problem is, I don't know what the "more" is. I feel this hole in my life that I'm not sure how to fill. Maybe the extra gym time will do the trick? I can only hope. It will be a good start, anyway.
4. Clean out my closet room. I don't know if I'm going to actually make this happen or if it will just be one of those forgotten resolutions. I want to get rid of at least half of my wardrobe. Send it away, because I hate most of it anyway. I sit on a pile of clothes and look at the clothes around me and just sulk. I hate so much of what is there that I really need to get rid of it. This goal definitely coincides with the weight loss goal.
5. Boys. The whole reason I started writing in the first place. I'm contemplating getting rid of my online dating profile while I concentrate on these other goals. I'm tired of finding out the hard way that men I'm interested in just don't care about seeing me. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself because I'm not interesting to the opposite sex. I'm really tired of dealing with that pesky Girl Brain. (If you haven't guessed, the gentleman previously mentioned doesn't seem as interested as I originally thought. Bummer, I like him.) I haven't made a solid decision, but when I think about how good I felt before I started the online dating...sure, I had my lonely days and my family and friends started to crack jokes about my ovaries drying up and my vagina being full of cobwebs, but I was genuinely happy. So there's that...
There you have it, world: My goals for 2013, to be achieved by or before my 30th birthday. Yay me.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
We didn't die today, so...
Happy Apocalypse Day! (I guess it's yesterday now...whatevs)
Well, I think I may have done it. I think I may have reached a point in my professional life where I will be happy for a while. I've been at my new job in gynecology for just over a month now. I'm learning a ton and the women I work with are fantastic. I'm not making children cry all day and I'm not dealing with a ton of difficult patients and physicians. I leave work every day feeling accomplished and positive. Even when there were some slip-ups (still in training), I still feel like I'm making a difference and I feel like I'm appreciated. The pay is a little better, too, but the satisfaction makes all the difference in the world.
With Christmas coming, I still have to do some (all) of my shopping. I normally don't buy gifts for anyone at all. I normally just am happy with being with my family and hanging out, but here's the thing: they always get me something. This year, my siblings, their spouses and I are exchanging greeting cards. We are looking for the funniest ones to share. I really wanted to use some from theoatmeal.com, but I don't have a credit card and they can only be purchased online. I'll have to go with Target's leavings. The gifts I DO want to get is something small for Mom and Dad and something my niece and nephew will enjoy. My nephew will be happy with any toy that is sporty or shoots plastic missiles and my niece, even though she's only about 15-months-old LOVES clothes. Easy. I've decided I don't really need to get anything for the pending baby yet, as she won't be here until March.
Boys. Nothing official with boys, though I'm having a really nice time getting to know one in particular. He's super handsome and so nice and I just feel comfortable around him. I don't know a ton about him, like whether or not he's been previously married or was an astronaut in his past life (he is really smart, so who knows?), but he's completely adorable when he talks about his baby nephew. We've only been out a few times and don't have a next date set, but I'd like to go out again. I have open conversations with a couple of other guys on the dating site, too. Dating is kind of hit-or-miss around the holidays, I think. I've got family things, they've got family things. I've got parties with friends, they've got parties with friends...or at least I hope they do.
Fitness. I'm sucking at fitness right now. I don't want to talk about it.
To all [four] of my readers: This post is a little blah, but thanks for reading (I'll try to keep up more next in '13). It's been quite a year, but I like the way 2012 is ending, even if we don't get to clobber zombies into the new year. I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2013! Lots of love to you and yours and maybe, just maybe, we can make our dreams come true. If not, let's just drink and make interesting choices!
Well, I think I may have done it. I think I may have reached a point in my professional life where I will be happy for a while. I've been at my new job in gynecology for just over a month now. I'm learning a ton and the women I work with are fantastic. I'm not making children cry all day and I'm not dealing with a ton of difficult patients and physicians. I leave work every day feeling accomplished and positive. Even when there were some slip-ups (still in training), I still feel like I'm making a difference and I feel like I'm appreciated. The pay is a little better, too, but the satisfaction makes all the difference in the world.
With Christmas coming, I still have to do some (all) of my shopping. I normally don't buy gifts for anyone at all. I normally just am happy with being with my family and hanging out, but here's the thing: they always get me something. This year, my siblings, their spouses and I are exchanging greeting cards. We are looking for the funniest ones to share. I really wanted to use some from theoatmeal.com, but I don't have a credit card and they can only be purchased online. I'll have to go with Target's leavings. The gifts I DO want to get is something small for Mom and Dad and something my niece and nephew will enjoy. My nephew will be happy with any toy that is sporty or shoots plastic missiles and my niece, even though she's only about 15-months-old LOVES clothes. Easy. I've decided I don't really need to get anything for the pending baby yet, as she won't be here until March.
Boys. Nothing official with boys, though I'm having a really nice time getting to know one in particular. He's super handsome and so nice and I just feel comfortable around him. I don't know a ton about him, like whether or not he's been previously married or was an astronaut in his past life (he is really smart, so who knows?), but he's completely adorable when he talks about his baby nephew. We've only been out a few times and don't have a next date set, but I'd like to go out again. I have open conversations with a couple of other guys on the dating site, too. Dating is kind of hit-or-miss around the holidays, I think. I've got family things, they've got family things. I've got parties with friends, they've got parties with friends...or at least I hope they do.
Fitness. I'm sucking at fitness right now. I don't want to talk about it.
To all [four] of my readers: This post is a little blah, but thanks for reading (I'll try to keep up more next in '13). It's been quite a year, but I like the way 2012 is ending, even if we don't get to clobber zombies into the new year. I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2013! Lots of love to you and yours and maybe, just maybe, we can make our dreams come true. If not, let's just drink and make interesting choices!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Politics Schmolitics
What is on my mind? I'm not going to lie, it has been weighing on me all day. Being told that my political beliefs are delusional and I'm wasting my vote, if I cast it for the candidate I believe in (rather than one of the two schmucks in the major parties), has really got me down. It bugs me on a deep level and reminds me of why I tried so hard not to voice my opinion on the subject of politics in the past.
What do I believe in? Like REALLY believe in with my heart and soul? First and foremost, I believe in marriage equality. If two consenting adults love each other enough to want to spend the rest of their lives together in matrimony, be it "holy" or not, they should definitely be legally allowed to do that. I have friends and family members who are gay. I don't appreciate the fact that they are constantly discriminated against and threatened for their love. If two men or two women love each other enough to marry, GOOD FOR THEM! They have found something that I can only hope will happen to me before I'm old and my uterus is shriveled. Speaking of, for the love of humanity, let them have the same adoption rights as straight couples. How many accidental pregnancies happen every day? That CAN'T happen in a gay couple! They MUST choose to be parents! They must consider their options and make an informed, solid decision before they even go in to fill out the paperwork!! Chances are, if that's the case, there's a good chance that they want the kids and will make a loving, happy home for them. Also, who the eff are you to say "no" to a man or woman wanting to serve the country they love? Assholes. I could go on and on about how the LGBT citizens of this country are mistreated, but I need to get to the next subject.
BRING OUR TROOPS HOME NOW!!! All of them. Now. We cannot afford to keep them deployed and we have certainly been at war for long enough. Enough blood has been spilled. Don't you think?
What else? I believe in a woman's right to make decisions regarding her own life and what she does to her body. It isn't anyone else's business what she puts in there...or takes out, for that matter. I know that people very close to me will disagree with this, but all I can say is I'm sorry you disagree, good thing we love each other.
I believe that marijuana should be legalized and taxed, just like alcohol. I don't take advantage of the drug myself, but I think that we would see a great decrease in the crime rate if this were to happen. Maybe free up some space in our over-crowded jails and create another source of cash for the government.
The ONLY way to reduce the deficit that makes sense to me is to cut spending. Period. I'm sure there are some government organizations that don't really need to exist at all, get rid of them and start paying our debts. We have borrowed enough from our allies and other countries and one day, they are going to want the money that we owe them. This is what I have to do in my own house, why should it make that much of a difference on a larger scale?
Tomorrow, I will cast my vote for the Libertarian candidate, Garry Johnson. Any friends of mine who want to tell me that I'm wasting my vote or "giving it to the other guy" or, my favorite, "delusional" can kindly hold their comments. I've heard it all and I'm frankly tired of it. This last month is the most I have EVER allowed myself express my political views and I've learned only that it is mentally taxing and makes me feel frustrated and, in a way, hurt. I've learned that political conversations are only fun when the other person agrees with you. I've learned that my frustration leads to angry and inflammatory comments that only frustrate others. I don't like it and after tomorrow, I will be keeping my views and admirations more to myself. I'm not going to pretend I'm doing it for my friends or family, I'm doing it for me and my own sanity. I'm exhausted and my dinner is now cold.
What do I believe in? Like REALLY believe in with my heart and soul? First and foremost, I believe in marriage equality. If two consenting adults love each other enough to want to spend the rest of their lives together in matrimony, be it "holy" or not, they should definitely be legally allowed to do that. I have friends and family members who are gay. I don't appreciate the fact that they are constantly discriminated against and threatened for their love. If two men or two women love each other enough to marry, GOOD FOR THEM! They have found something that I can only hope will happen to me before I'm old and my uterus is shriveled. Speaking of, for the love of humanity, let them have the same adoption rights as straight couples. How many accidental pregnancies happen every day? That CAN'T happen in a gay couple! They MUST choose to be parents! They must consider their options and make an informed, solid decision before they even go in to fill out the paperwork!! Chances are, if that's the case, there's a good chance that they want the kids and will make a loving, happy home for them. Also, who the eff are you to say "no" to a man or woman wanting to serve the country they love? Assholes. I could go on and on about how the LGBT citizens of this country are mistreated, but I need to get to the next subject.
BRING OUR TROOPS HOME NOW!!! All of them. Now. We cannot afford to keep them deployed and we have certainly been at war for long enough. Enough blood has been spilled. Don't you think?
What else? I believe in a woman's right to make decisions regarding her own life and what she does to her body. It isn't anyone else's business what she puts in there...or takes out, for that matter. I know that people very close to me will disagree with this, but all I can say is I'm sorry you disagree, good thing we love each other.
I believe that marijuana should be legalized and taxed, just like alcohol. I don't take advantage of the drug myself, but I think that we would see a great decrease in the crime rate if this were to happen. Maybe free up some space in our over-crowded jails and create another source of cash for the government.
The ONLY way to reduce the deficit that makes sense to me is to cut spending. Period. I'm sure there are some government organizations that don't really need to exist at all, get rid of them and start paying our debts. We have borrowed enough from our allies and other countries and one day, they are going to want the money that we owe them. This is what I have to do in my own house, why should it make that much of a difference on a larger scale?
Tomorrow, I will cast my vote for the Libertarian candidate, Garry Johnson. Any friends of mine who want to tell me that I'm wasting my vote or "giving it to the other guy" or, my favorite, "delusional" can kindly hold their comments. I've heard it all and I'm frankly tired of it. This last month is the most I have EVER allowed myself express my political views and I've learned only that it is mentally taxing and makes me feel frustrated and, in a way, hurt. I've learned that political conversations are only fun when the other person agrees with you. I've learned that my frustration leads to angry and inflammatory comments that only frustrate others. I don't like it and after tomorrow, I will be keeping my views and admirations more to myself. I'm not going to pretend I'm doing it for my friends or family, I'm doing it for me and my own sanity. I'm exhausted and my dinner is now cold.
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